Tyson fractured his hand a couple of weeks ago while playing basketball—he tried to stop a pass by putting his left hand in front of the ball but the ball had been thrown extremely hard and it hit the side of his hand instead of his palm (the man who threw it was a gorilla. He could bench press a bus. I'm lucky to still have my hand at all). He doesn’t have health insurance and even if he did he still wouldn’t see a doctor because he’s a “man” and not a “wussy, pansy or a girl”.
I accidentally hit his hand last night and he about died (she hit it really hard. Trying to tickle me. She's a big meanie) so I was finally able to convince him to at least wrap it up, not use it and lay off basketball for a couple of week. I least I thought I had been successful, however much to my dismay this morning Doug calls and asks if Tyson will be at basketball tonight to which Tyson responds “definitely.” (they needed me. I'm like the good Samaritan) At this point I make a face that he correctly reads as meaning “Are you kidding me…?” (very familiar with that face) Then he tells me that he never uses his left hand when he plays basketball anyway so it will be fine (anyone who has seen my dribbling know this to be true and could verify it)… Okay, then can you please tell me again how your hand got hurt in the first place? After much talking (again) and consulting with his father and my mother this time, Tyson finally agreed to wrap it and not use it for the next three weeks and to not play basketball for tonight at least.
We’ll see how well this goes. (Spoiler: I didn't play)
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